The End

Final entry. Comment on the module. It wasn't really bad enough was it? A bit tame. A bit dull. And that lecture room is too big. And it's too warm. And many of the class members were incredibly rude. But still I feel I've learned something. We've been through so much together, and in spite of everything I'm gonna miss you guys. Golly, I hate goodbyes. No, don't hug me, I'll only cry. So long. Take care. Keep in touch. Love you.
(Picture is Frankenmonkey, and your final link is http://www.cmongethappy.com/home.htm).

You've Gotta Have Faith

Drink, drugs, gambling, shoplifting, stuff and nonsense, blah blah blah, etc - I've not felt compelled to comment on loads of stuff. Religion; that's different. Well not so much religion, more faith, or perhaps belief. I believe in two things. I believe in love, and I believe in rock'n'roll. I can apply the two to anything. Can't be arsed to explain anymore. If you want to join the Church of Rock'n'Roll Love; seek me out my children.

Todays link is www.plyrics.com/lyrics/adverts/newchurch.html. It's even better if you can track it down and listen to it.

Black Rebel Retirement Home

When I were a lad, the Hell's Angels where really feckin' dead hard and scary. They used to hang around the Giffard and the SU (it was a mere polytechnic back then). I knew someone who got (very seriously) beaten up for sitting on one of their motorbikes, and I've seen one of them empty the SU bar by standing up from the inert body of the guy he'd just beaten up and saying, "Who's next then?" (NB. if they beat you up and you survived, you were then their mate, and they would always buy you drinks and kill anyone you asked them to). Did you know there is still a chapter of Hell's Angels in W'ton? They're all of pensionable age and live in a fortified house in Penn. They have an annual bonfire and a charity open day; and Hell's Angels MC has a beautifully designed website,http://www.hells-angels.com/. Bunch of ageing pussies.

Hammer Time

I just remembered something really bad. Back in the 80s I saw a documentary about some African dictatorship. (Sorry, can't remember exactly which one). Anyway, in the prisons under this regime, a popular pastime for the guards invovled two political prisoners and a hammer. Sit them on the floor, give one of them the hammer and tell them to beat the other person to death with it. If he refuses or hesitates, you give the hammer to the other guy. It raises several interesting philosophical issues. What would you do? Who the fuck thought it up? Don't think about it too long though; it's the sort of thing that can mess your head up. http://www.amnesty.org/ do their best to prevent such things from happening again.

Comment on Theatre of Cruelty

Need to do one more comment on someone elses blog. Looked down the list of shared URLS, found one called Theatre of Cruelty, http://sicilianfairy.blogspot.com/. Much more intriguing title than the mundane variations on 'My Being Bad Blog' that most of you vibrant, imaginative young people have gone for. Had a look, found an entry (6th May) Sex with a Lecturer? Just the title; no words, no picture, no links, no nothing. I'm intrigued. Fact or fantasy? And which lecturer? Like I said, I'm intrigued, I'll be back to find out more.

Goodbye Cruel World

"I'm leaving because I'm bored."

Actor George Sanders' suicide note.

Killing yourself; there's a bit of aberrant behaviour we haven't had a lecture on. Everyone's thought about it, but there's a line between 'I wish I was dead' and 'I wish I was dead, I'll do something to make it happen.' Very few people cross that line. What's going on in the head of someone if they're prepared to take that step? Is suicide just the ultimate selfish act? If you're thinking of topping yourself http://www.satanservice.org/coe/suicide/metaguide.html covers the common methods and your chances of success.

Picture is the actor Al Mulock in the opening sequence of Sergio Leone's classic Once Upon a Time in the West (1968). After finishing filming, Al went back to his hotel and killed himself by jumping from a window, still wearing his cowboy costume. Cool, huh?

Outlaws

Need to add another entry. Can't really think of anything to say. Outlaws; there a bit sexy aren't they? Appeal to the rebel in us. The picture is of Klaus Kinski playing the baddie in a film called The Big Silence (1968). Interesting film; the bad guys win. They kill the hero, his girlfriend, and massacre a saloon full of innocent hostages, then they ride off laughing. It's a lot more shocking than anything in that Kids crap they made us watch. (Though I have just spoiled the end for you). Visit Shobary's Spaghetti Westerns at http://spaghettiwesterns.1g.fi/ to find out more.

Comment on Luke - Being Bad

Just been looking at http://slammedsport.blogspot.com/, particularly the entries for 1st and 2nd March; the ones about car vandalism, and the horrid way those beastly unemployed people behave. Jeez man, lighten up. I'm sorry, but you sound like some retired old colonel from the home counties (you know, a 'disgusted of Tunbridge Wells' type). You're young. You should be eager, hungry for life and knowledge, not a moaning old git. And your idea about dressing the poor in the cheapest polyester crap from Asda is well dodgy.
Cheer yourself up, visit http://www.wreckedexotics.com/, they've got loads of pictures of really expensive cars, fucked up beyond belief.
Picture in the top corner has nothing to do with anything; it's just pretty groovy. I took it. It's a derelict house, just up the road from my place, that they found a dead tramp in.

Telephone Etiquette

This is something bad that I do. I don't answer the phone. It rings, and if I'm doing something else, or if I just don't feel feel like answering, I ignore it. People seem really upset by this. "I rang you about seven last night, but you weren't in." "Yes I was. I was busy eating my tea." "But what if it was important?" (Leave a message. Write me a letter). Why does everyone assume that the telephone gives them the right to butt into my life whenever they feel like it? My mobile's turned off most of the time as well. It's nothing important, but people do seem to regard it as a bit aberrant.
Visit http://millionaireplayboy.com/toys/batphone.php and they'll show you how to make a Batphone.

Stalking

I've got this friend. Well, I used to have this friend: I'm not sure what she is now. I expressed a romantic (for want of a better word) interest and now she won't talk to me. Well, she won't arrange to meet and talk to me. She doesn't respond to phone calls, texts, e-mails, anything. This bugs the fuck out of me. We used to be very good friends, and I would like to know what I've 'done wrong.' It seems my only option is to call on her, or engineer a 'chance meeting' in the street. I have a very strong urge to do this. If I make just one attempt, does this count as stalking? Friends seem to think it doesn't, but I still feel a bit odd about it. Announcing it on the internet is a pretty crap way to start a career as an obsessive weirdo. Whatever, it's another blog entry and something to talk about with my counsellor.
If you've got head problems of any kind, you really should try the university counselling service. It's bloody good and it's free. Details at http://www.wlv.ac.uk/counselling.

I've Been Bad

Went out last night. Got lobotomised drunk and danced to loud music. Got a warning from a bouncer (can't remember exactly why), and I learned to say my name in sign language. Got to bed about five thirty. Had a lecture at ten this morning. Important lecture, getting an assignment back. Woke up at eleven. Next lecture was at two. Important lecture, exam preparation. Thought I'd have a bit more kip. Woke up at three. Crawled out of bed at about four. Next lecture at six. Important lecture, getting another assignment back. Didn't go. Still hungover. Played on the playstation instead. I'm 44 years old and I'm really rather proud that I still behave in this fashion.
As were talking bad, check out http://www.bad.org.uk/.

LIES

"Lipstick on your collar, it told a tale on you

Lipstick on your collar, it said you were untrue

Bet your bottom dollar that you and I are through

'Cos lipstick on your collar, it told a tale on you."

'Lipstick on Your Collar' (Lewis/Goehring)

"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."

Att. Benjamin Disraeli

"When the legend becomes fact, print the legend."

'The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance' (1962)

Lying: everyone does it. Anyone who says they don't is a liar. Is it bad? Depends on who your lying to . . . and (more importantly) if you get caught or not.

Visit http://www.davesweboflies.com/dwol.htm, it won't give you any great insight, but it's bloody funny.

Picture is from a series of cigarette cards featuring the exploits of Baron Munchausen - the world's greatest liar.

Comment on Ramblings of a Fish

Ramblings of a Fish, http://rburnham34.blogspot.com/, has a post, dated 19th April, dealing with the Virginia university shootings. I understand your shock to some degree, but I find your use of trite emotive phrases such as 'blood on it's hands,' and 'mercilessly gunning down', as well as your use of military speak such as 'clear and present danger', and 'AUTOMATIC LOCKDOWN,' a trifle disturbing. Are you a US government spokesperson or something?

What I'd really like to know though is why you felt compelled to comment on this event and not the 200 people who had the shit blown out of them in Baghdad this week, or the 100 civilians killed in the fighting in Mogadishu? Why isn't there a list of those dead on your blog? What makes 30 dead Americans so important? And blame Charlton Heston, not the university. Sorry mate, but I feel quite strongly about this, and I've got a really shitty hangover.

Anarchy in the U.K.

As we're talking about it, I think someone should mention those kings of aberrant behaviour; the Sex Pistols. For those of you young folk who've never heard of them, they were a punk rock band who traumatised the nation back in the late 70s. What did they do that was so shocking? They swore on teatime TV. They said the F word, and they said 'rotter.' As a result, tours were cancelled, they were sacked by their record lable, and members of the group were attacked in the street. They signed a new record deal outside Buckingham Palace, but were sacked within days. Eventually they got round to releasing a second single. It was a brilliant anti-royalist anthem, 'God Save the Queen,' and the charts had to be fixed to prevent it occupying the number 1 spot during the Queen's silver jubilee week. They recorded one album, 'Never Mind the Bollocks . . ,' and then split up. Bassist Sid Vicious stabbed his girlfriend to death, died of a heroin overdose before he could stand trial, and became a rock'n'roll icon. Other members of the group recorded an extremely tasteless single with great train robber Ronnie Biggs, and singer John Lydon went on to become the sweetheart of the nation when he appeared on 'I'm a Celebrity . . .' many years later.

More important than any of this is the fact that they were one of the GREATEST ROCK 'N' ROLL BANDS EVER! If you want to know more, visit http://www.sex-pistols.net/. It's not a great site, but it will give you an idea.

Comment on According to Miss Woodstock

Check out According to Miss Woodstock (groovy blog name) at http://miss-j-woodstock.blogspot.com/. There's an entry for 19th April titled Domestic Abuse. The blog itself is intelligent, articulate and sincere. But perhaps more importantly, it's on a subject we haven't had a lecture on. Yay Miss Woodstock! Nice to see there's someone out there doing a bit of thinking for themselves. I've just spent an hour searching for a blog to comment on, (if I read one more lame ' shoplifting is so bad' entry . . . ), and yours was like a ray of sunshine, a breath of fresh air, uplifting, inspiring, and numerous other cliches.

Keep up the good work.

In case you don't know, the picture is the character Woodstock from the Peanuts/Charlie Brown comic strip.

Vegetables

Ask any vegetarian, as soon as they announce their dietary leanings, people say, "Oh, really?" in the same tone of voice they'd use if you'd just admitted responsibility for the Holocaust. Strange isn't it? The behaviour of people who choose not to support the mass slaughter of other living creatures is somehow regarded as aberrant. I'm not a herbivore myself, but many of my friends are, and though I respect their decision, even I can't resist taking the piss from time to time.

The argument for vegetarianism is laid out clearly at http://www.vegsoc.org/, or if you want something a bit more hardcore, go to http://www.vegansociety.com/. For a cheap thrill you can visit http://www.jarvisproducts.com/, who are suppliers to the slaughterhouse trade, and have an extensive range of lung guns, and skull splitters, and spinal cord removers.

Masturbation

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Bad Film

They just tried to make me watch Larry Clark's 'shocking and controversial' film, Kids (1995). It's all about a bunch of underage kids doing sex, drugs, petty crime, and mindless violence. I lasted about 45 minutes, then I walked out. Not because I was shocked and controversialised, I was just completely uninterested. For a gritty piece of documentary realism, I found it incredibly contrived and artificial. Chloe Sevigny's technique, the only 'real' actor amidst of a bunch of mumbling Noo Yoik lunkheads, stuck out like a sore thumb. She was the only character given reaction shots. Was this a dramatic device intended to gain audience sympathy for her character, or simply because she was the only person on set capable of handling it? Whichever, it created a glaring imbalance in the film. The skateboard gang attack in the park was equally unconvincing. The shot of the unconcious guy's mashed up face was there purely to say, "Isn't this terrible? Aren't you shocked?" To make a genuinely disturbing film, that shot should have been left out. There are inumerable other things wrong with the movie, but life's too short to go into them.
I've seen one other film directed by Larry Clark. It's called Teenage Caveman (2002), and it's also about kids doing sex and drugs and violence, except it's set in a post apocalyptic future. It's still shite.
Larry Clark used to be a bloody good photographer. If you go to http://www.artnet.de/awc/larry-clark.html you'll find several of his photos, all as fine as the homoerotic goody up there in the top left corner.

Comment on Unfold Those Tears

Have a look at http://unfoldthosetears.blogspot.com. There's an unfinished entry dealing with tattooing and body piercing. No words, just a 'coming soon' notice, and an incredibley cute picture of a koala bear. It probably says more about me than anything else, but it conjures up brilliantly vivid pictures - the little koala having violent images carved into it's flesh, and hoops of surgical steel thrust through its eyebrows and scrotum. Encapsulates lots of peoples revulsion regarding 'personal adornment.' Nice one, Unfold Those Tears. It's reawakened my desire to get a tattoo as well.

Picture on the left has nothing to do with anything. It's an Ed 'Big Daddy' Roth model kit from the 60's. Toy shops were full of such groovy stuff back then.

Smoking is COOL

Your parents, teachers, and even the government have all been lying to you. Contrary to what they may have told you, smoking is big, and it is clever. In fact it's COOL AS FUCK. Let's just examine the evidence. Humphrey Bogart - chainsmoking, immortal icon of cool. Tom Cruise - non-smoking, health concious, scientologist dork. Sticking with the movie theme, I'm old enough to remember when you could smoke in the cinema. Words cannot describe the magic of dragging on a fag whilst watching a great film, with the smoke curling up into the beam from the projector. And what about cool smoking accessories? Nothing beats the clunk/ping (cling?punk?) of a shiny Zippo lighter in action. Check 'em out at http://www.zippo.com. I haven't had a cigarette for five years, (I was a 40 a day guy), but I still refuse to class myself as a non-smoker. Sure, it kills you, and those around you. Small price to pay for something so wonderful.

Field Trip

Here's my idea for a field trip. The what and the where of it don't really matter. We just let someone, preferably the lecturers (authority figures), spend a load of time and effort and valuable university resources organising it, and then none of us bother to turn up. Then we'd all have first hand experience of wilful bad behavior to write about.

And here's a picture of the mighty Dennis Hopper, after being arrested for doing something wild and druggy and rebellious. Things don't get much badder than that.